YAYAPOPS!

Jo texted me from Australia just now and I felt like crying reading her message. I miss her terribly and it's hard now to chat to her as she's staying with one of her friends. It was great that she messaged me because I don't know. It just felt good to know she's alright and that she's thinking about me. I think I did cry reading her message. The two of us we went through a lot together and lately I've been pretty emotional. Every little bit can seriously make me cry.

I've been thinking of my babah lately and every time I think of him tears would start flowing, mcm paip pacah! With the exams approaching, I miss him more. Dulu well for the last two semesters, he was the one who would sent me to campus for revision week and would call if I needed anything to eat because he would sent them for me. He was the one who would ask me about my exams and all. He has done so much for me... and yet I feel like I don't appreciate it and sometimes I don't deserve it. I just seriously miss him!! It's getting worse by the day and I don't really talk to people about it because I get scared that I would end up crying. Jo would know how dulu it was always babah did this then babah did that and babah and I went to jln to somewhere or eat somewhere. It was all babah then... now I only have my mum!! People say be strong for your mum and I did during the first few days because I didn't cry or what so ever but now every single detail starts appearing in my head. From the first day he got admitted sampai the day the line went flat! I remember running into that room and seeing him like that. Oh my.... I don't know what else to do!! I can only pray for him now.

babah... i really really miss you!!

p.s this post is a bit emotional, i'm sorry!!

Ok fine I am seriously bored, I have no idea what to do at the moment. I would much love to watch DVDs but I can't be bothered at the moment, wait maybe I'll watch some later and plus it's Monday night and nothing is good on TV. Oh last night there was that Oprah Prime Time on Hallmark at 8PM and it had the whole cast of Grey's Anatomy and I enjoyed it so much. I never thought Callie Torres was beautiful but she is... like pretty... and plus her real name is cool.. Sara Ramirez, pronounced Sah-Ra! and Sandra Oh actually looks normal in real life. Hehe and I never expected Dr. Karev has 5 kids.. FIVE... that's just amazing.. and Patrick Dempsey is expecting twins (most likely to be born already). Ok enough of Grey's... so last night I was looking for the Grey's (hehehe) DVD Kalai loaned me and at first thought I seriously thought I had lost them... and I was panicking but then I found them under the TV cabinet!

yes, this is a very random post.

I love Sunday nights because Gol n Gincu is on... I so love the series because there is just a lot of dramas in it. And I think Pierre Andre is HOT!

Uni starts next week, 6th August! What to do? I've seem the timetable and it doesn't look too pleasant! I actually like my classes this semester... and I wonder what will I expect from Principles of Islamic Jurisprudence.

I did some searching in the guest living room yesterday afternoon for some pictures of my dad and I... I didn't have much pictures with him but I know I was close to him because I think I see him the most almost every day since he's the one who fetches me from school and all.

So I scanned some...

didn't realize I was cute as a little girl! hahah :p

Today marks the 40th day.

I can't believe it has been 40 days... I can still remember every single detail until the point the date was 6th June 2007! Days seem to pass by really fast nowadays which is good for me since I can't wait for U to start. It is weird isn't it my wanting to be back in the crowd especially school friends. I just can't wait for all the stupid drama and excitement... I actually miss going and skipping class... another thing to consider is I feel like giving up French next semester but erm... I'll have to think about that again, cos at moments like these I can make stupid decisions.

I can hear those thingies firing off from the Istana, I think the Royal Banquet is going on at the moment!

I have not watch Harry Potter & Order of The Phoenix

I'm watching Gol n Gincu the series... Jo nada Ashraf Sinclair.. well not yet heheheh

Tahlil tomorrow afternoon and I baked brownies and it looks good!

I'm sleepy... but I want to read a book!

I know I'm not alone but I feel lonely

I miss him

al-fatihah

so on 7th July 2007 I was out and had lunch with Jo. It was somewhat my first time out with a friend ever since what happened so it was a refreshing thing. It was fun and it was kind of like old times where we would have lunch at Excapade then we'd walk to The Mall and just walk around talking about the people we see, avoid people we don't want to see. It was fun... and plus she was worried I might get depress if I'm at home all the time. I was just not that ready to go out yet I guess around that time but now I'm OK. There are times when I can't help it but just cry... like Sunday I woke up with swollen eyes. Go figure...

Then that night itself my mum and I went for a tahlil function over at angah's in Manggis and met some of my other cousins there. They are a great bunch of cousins who just simply make me laugh and make me forget of all the things I'm going through for a moment. It's always good to venture off a different direction once in a while and just have a good laugh with family members. We talked about nonsense and then started talking about a certain someone who is getting married in September. A few more others came and we started talking about them... then I told of my cousins to call the nephew, Nial, to come over and talk to us. It then turned out to be photo taking session of all of us... it was fun. I don't really have any pictures with them and the pictures turned out really nice even though someone's head got cut off.

Hami & I

the cousins plus the nephew (why am I the only one ready with a smile?)

us again except hami's head got cut off

ohh did I mention I got my results already for my 2nd semester exam?... wuhu... I'm glad I did well for my exams and I hope my late dad is glad and proud of me with what I achieved. 2As.. wuhu... and ohh a D for Logic. Well after this I will not have to worry anymore about Logic & Thinking, it's over and done with.

That's all I guess... I need to catch up with my reading and ohh house chores.

I'm baking brownies for Thursday's tahlil, I hope it turns out right because it is after all my first attempt.

cheers :)

For the past few days... things have just been hard on me. I seem to be crying a lot every afternoon now. I have no idea why. No wait, maybe I do.

When my dad first passed away I know he was gone and I accepted the fact but now I guess I realize that I don't have a father anymore, someone to call "babah" and all! I usually see him in the afternoon when he gets back from sending my mum to work and I'll talk to him. I guess all that will never happen anymore. I guess I'll just miss how he defends me and all.

I just miss him so badly!!! Like really... really badly. I don't usually cry about these things but I don't know even when I met my brother this evening for tahlil I nearly cried on his shoulders. My brother just got back from UK... (btw this brother of mine is my adik-beradik sesusuan) oh well figure it out! I'm so close to my brother that he even seemed to be crying when I told him the story and told him how I felt at the moment.

I just miss my dad!! I seriously miss him! I miss his presence... I just miss everything about him!

I was ironing his shirts the other day and I couldn't stop crying...

I took this picture of him this January in Singapore! Erh imissbabah!


al-fatihah

So 6th June a lot of stuff happened. 1st and foremost it was my 21st birthday so happy b'day to me. :)

And I know some of you might not believe this but my dad passed away on 6th June 2007 at 1615Hrs. So I just want to thank everyone who came on the night he passed away and on the day of the funeral itself and to those who has been coming for the past three nights to the house for sembahyang jemaah and tahlil. I really appreciate all the help and everything.

My late father was a great man and I really look up to him. I guess this is how Allah wants it to be and He loves him more than all of us do. I just pray that my late dad will be in peace and that he is forgiven by Allah. I just simply miss my dad... I guess I was just too close to him and that afternoon itself around 12 I was still talking to him before my mom and I left him at 2 cos visiting hours were up.

I just wanna inform that I won't be posting up much for the next few weeks as I will be busy running errands with my mum.

I just hope that you guys will pray for my dad and that he will be with those loved by Allah.

Thanx Again.